Closing the tabs
Broken ferries, canceled shows, and talking focus with The Good Day Matrix
Chatting on The Good Day Matrix
Two days ago, we found out our ferry crossing to the South Island of New Zealand had been canceled, and we’d been bumped to a later crossing that would mean canceling our show in Golden Bay tonight.
I did everything I could to fix the situation, sitting on hold with customer service for 2 hours and searching for all possible other means of travel. But once it became clear there was no alternate way to get there in time for the show, I called the venue, canceled the event online, and then… I moved on.
A few years ago, I would’ve fretted about the lost income and disappointment to fans for weeks. Honestly, I even surprised myself at how calmly I managed to deal with the situation. But the thing is, moving on was the only solution that actually made any sense. Friends, I can control many things on tour, but fixing a commuter ferry isn’t one of them.
A few weeks ago, I was interviewed by Daz Burns at The Good Day Matrix, and one of the themes that came from the interview was the concept I am applying right now to this ferry-show-cancellation mess: the idea of “closing the tabs.”
Before we jump in - if you’re in New Zealand, I’ll be on tour with my band Tattletale Saints, for most of March. Check out our tour dates here, and say hi if you come along! “Intelligent, entertaining, and thoroughly captivating” Sing Out! Magazine
Closing the tabs first came up in the interview as we discussed my tips for balancing many projects and staying focused.
I’m easily distracted, so keeping other browser tabs open with email, news, social media, or any other pages that regularly change or update when I’m trying to work on something is setting myself up for failure.
Some days I get overconfident and think I can leave them open and not look at them, but that never works. Ten minutes later, I’ll find myself in a Facebook doom scroll or looking at email notifications.
If I’m writing a piece for this community or working on anything that requires my full attention, my first step is to literally close all the other tabs, removing all possible distractions.
While talking to Daz, I realized the concept of “closing the tabs” is mental too.
I often have so many things swirling in my mind: things I need to do, emails I need to send, ideas I want to remember, and thoughts about past, present, or future situations. If I don’t get them out, they can become a mental tornado that quickly becomes anxiety.
My first step is always to write them down because if I don’t - the thought will relentlessly push itself to the forefront of my mind and not rest until I do something about it. Writing these thoughts down tells my brain it’s ok to let it go.
I have many lists on the notes app on my phone: one for writing ideas, gear lists for upcoming tours, shopping lists, and a general life to-do list. Once the thought is on a list, I can close that tab and move on mentally.
From there, I can prioritize the important things, plan how I’ll get them done, and then actively let go of anything I shouldn’t have been worrying about in the first place.
“Closing the tabs” can have other meanings too.
My mum thinks of the tabs as topics for conversation, and if a random thought pops up when we’re catching up, she’ll say, let’s open another tab for that and come back to it in a minute.
You can also apply the concept of closing the tabs to situations at work or unhealthy relationships. Anywhere you need to intentionally stop yourself from dwelling on something or move on.
“Closing the tab” simply means saying to yourself, I’m done with that and it will not take up any more of my attention or energy anymore, whether it’s a browser window, a negative thought, or a relationship that isn’t serving you anymore.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by everything we have going on in our lives. Closing the tabs is an exercise in staying focused and prioritizing only the things that are most important.
More snippets from the interview
On creativity:
“I think creativity is across everything; it's not an artistic pursuit. You can be the most creative accountant in the world with how you pursue it. The activity doesn't matter so much. It's the mindset, and I think that the moments of creativity, for me, with writing and with businesses and with music, usually come when I'm very intentional about carving out space.
The album creativity came because I said to everyone else in my business and personal life there are four days where I'm gonna be in the studio for 11 hours a day. And I will tell you I'm alive, but other than that, that's what I'm doing.
And I'm not the best at that kind of focus. I am very good at juggling a lot of stuff and my natural state is to be texting and talking to someone and thinking of an email. What I've learned is that I can get everything done that way, but it doesn't allow creativity.”
On self-worth:
“One of the hardest things that I had to confront during the pandemic was this idea that if I'm not on stage, then I'm not worthy. If I'm not playing bass, then do I have any value? What's the point of me if I'm not doing this one thing that I've been chasing for 20 years?
I watched my whole industry go through that reckoning of, we've been on this hamster wheel for decades, and now we've suddenly been thrown off it, and we are confronted with ourselves. Asking, what is important to me if I'm not doing this one thing where I got all of my validation through applause and bright lights?
It's been a real journey, but it's been good. I've realized that my creativity can take many forms, and doing lots of things makes me happy. I'm a good bass player, and I've trained hard to be good at my job, but it's not all I am.”
Watch the whole interview here.
