I Lost Myself Trying to Blend In
Are you afraid of being "too much?"
✨ You don't need more proof of talent; you need more glitter ✨
When I started gigging, comments about my appearance were frequent.
While some were outright inappropriate, the ones that stuck with me most were the seemingly harmless but condescending references to me by older male musicians as “the little blonde girl on bass.”
I wanted to be seen as a bassist first, not a girl.
So, I started to mute my personality and blend in.
I wore loose-fitting black clothes, stopped having fun with my hair, and ditched sparkly makeup, thinking my male bandmates didn’t have to worry about those things, so why should I?
But this wasn’t just a wardrobe change; I was building armor.
I built a wall of serious professionalism around myself, determined to crush any doubts the moment they arose. I worked harder, prepared more, and made sure no one could question my competence.
And it worked. But it came at a cost.
The longer I kept the armor on, the more I lost touch with my sparkly self.
The joy I’d once felt in expressing myself through fashion and makeup was buried under layers of black clothing and self-protection. And while I succeeded in proving myself musically, I became the very type of judgmental musician I was trying to protect myself from—closed off, overly serious, and guarded.
It’s hard to be creative and open-hearted when you’re constantly defending your right to belong.
It wasn’t until I fully owned who I was that things really changed. I let the sparkles back in. I stopped worrying about being “too much.” And I realized that people don’t just connect with skill. They connect with personality.
When building a business around your creative skills, it's easy to play it safe online, strip away the personality, and post content that’s “professional” but forgettable.
We're afraid of being “too much.”
We worry about being judged.
We hold back instead of letting people really see us.
But here’s what I’ve learned:
People aren’t just looking for talent or skill. They’re looking for someone they can connect with.
Building a career isn’t just about being seen—it’s about being remembered.
