The female musician experience

Life as a woman in a male-dominated industry

The first bass player I looked up to was named Maree and she was a year older than me in high school.

When I picked up the bass for the first time at 14 she was already playing in the jazz big band, and I wanted nothing more than to be able to play like her and be the bassist in the band when she left.

We bonded over Jaco Pastorius and she loaned me her old electric bass so I could practice at home until I got my own.

I was super lucky to be at a school where playing bass wasn’t considered a “boys instrument” and was actively encouraged to pursue it by all my teachers.

There was a fairly even number of girls and boys in our school bands, but as I graduated through high school bands and went to University to study jazz and join professional bands I became ever more conspicuous by my gender and was often the only female on the bandstand.

The experience of being a woman in a male-dominated industry is a complex one; sometimes fantastic, occasionally hard as hell, and - in my opinion - always worth it.

Being a female musician….

Is questioning if you’ve been hired because the artist wanted to have a “diverse band” rather than because you’re good.

It’s wondering if you’ve been hired to create a “look”, not because of how you play.

It’s hearing through the grapevine you weren’t hired because “the boys couldn’t have that kind of temptation on the bus”.

It’s finding out you weren’t asked to audition because the female singer didn’t want the “competition” on stage.

It’s asking to try a piece of gear in a guitar store and having the salesperson assume you know nothing.

It’s walking into a new band and realizing that, again, you’re the only woman.

It’s not speaking up during rehearsal even though you know the answer.

It’s speaking up and then wishing you hadn’t when someone shuts you down without considering your opinion.

It’s standing on stage wondering if you should be wearing something less revealing because of threatening eyes in the crowd.

It’s not holding eye contact with the other band members too long in case they think you’re hitting on them.

It’s letting a famous artist kiss you on the cheek for slightly too long because they have offered you a job and you think rebuking them might mean you lose it.

It’s laughing off jokes filled with sexual innuendo because you don’t want people to think you’re overly sensitive and not hire you again.

It’s cracking sexually explicit jokes because it’s the fastest way to make the band think you fit in.

It’s losing great musical relationships because someone mistook your musical connection for a romantic one.

It’s seeing the surprised looks from the men in the room when you start to play.

It’s patiently waiting while someone from the audience tells you all about the one other female musician they know.

It’s having to explain to someone at the merch table that no, you’re not dating one of the other band members.

It’s letting a fan hug you at the merch table - even though you don’t want to - because they’ve bought your music and you feel you can’t say no.

It’s having the stage tech at a festival change the settings on your amp after you’ve already set it how you want it.

It’s leaving a late-night gig carrying the metal bar from your music stand as a weapon as you walk to get your car.

Being a female musician is also…

Knowing that just by simply existing on stage you might inspire a young girl to consider a career in music too.

It’s feeling confident in sticking up for another woman when someone says something sexist to her but she’s too uncomfortable to speak up for herself.

It’s having women ask you to teach them because they feel better learning from another woman who understands their experience in the industry.

It’s helping another woman process and cope with gaslighting from male colleagues.

It’s a female artist telling you they hired you to play with them because you make them feel at ease on the road.

It’s knowing that by being out there, in the world, living the life of a professional musician, and pushing for equality in the industry, things can only get better for the next generation.