The Myth of Making It

If you haven't made it by the time you're 30 you should give up.

Photo - me and my bandmate Cy just after I turned 30. Fun fact, I didn’t shrivel up and die right after this moment.

MYTH: If you haven't made it by the time you're 30 you should give up.

FACT: "Making it" is a dumb phrase that is impossible to actually measure.

FACT: There is nothing in music that you actually ever “age out” of.

FACT: The notion of the necessity of youth is primarily foisted upon women; it’s rare to find a man anywhere in the music industry sitting around thinking “am I too old to do this thing?”

For decades women in the music industry have been lying about their age, either overtly or by omission.

Whether you choose to or because a manager explicitly tells you you should, the desire to present yourself as younger stems from society’s deeply ingrained ageism and frivolous discarding of older people, especially women.

I’ve fallen into this trap myself, skirting nervously around the question when age comes up in new bands and feeling uncomfortable with telling the truth about my real age online. I’ve actively hidden how old I am when posting about birthdays and kept it vague when celebrating milestones since college for fear someone will do the math, count backward, and figure me out!

The dumbest thing about it is that without the years of life experience I have under my belt I wouldn’t be the musician, performer, and professional I am today.

The years I’ve been afraid of admitting to my colleagues and peers are the very reason people are interested in my talents in the first place.

OK so brace yourself, I’m about to tell you something real scary… I’m…. 40.

*gasp*

“OMG! Why would she admit that!?”

Because I don’t actually think age is something to be ashamed of.

The fear of growing older in the music industry, and the very silly (and dangerous) idea that if you haven’t “made it” by the time you turn 30 you’re worthless and should quit, is something we all need to throw out once and for all.

Most of the biggest, best, most ground-shakingly amazing things in my career have happened in the last decade, after I turned 30.

Imagine if I’d listened to the advice that if I hadn’t “made it” by 30 I should quit?! None of these things would have happened!

Things I’ve done since I turned 30:

• Moved to Nashville TN

• Played at The Ryman and Opry

• Performed on Austin City Limits

• Won two New Zealand Music Awards

• Made a living solely as a touring musician

• Performed in arenas to tens of thousands of people

• Performed at The White House and met the President

• Become an endorser of Fender, Aguilar, Fishman, and D’addario

Thank god I didn’t put myself out to pasture the day I said ba-bye to my twenties.

Outside of ageism, the idea that there is one way to “make it” at all is also a completely flawed notion.

Success in the music industry to one person might be holding a day job and releasing music online, and to someone else, it might be touring for a living.

To someone else, it could be making music for film and television, and never playing live at all.

To someone else, it could be building a career as a pop star and touring the world.

To someone else, it could be playing once a week in a local cafe and teaching lessons during the day.

FACT: Don't let someone else's idea of "making it" push you off your path.

Being a successful musician is a life-long journey and there is no single metric of success or schedule you need to keep.

You’re never too old and the “it” that you’re making, it’s completely up to you to define.