2024 Resolutions
The benefit of choosing experiences over finish lines.
At The Ryman with Brandy Clark, 2023. Photo by Becky Fluke
New Year’s resolutions are usually centered on numbers:
I want to lose 15 pounds.
I want to make $500 more a month.
I want to have 10,000 followers.
We set these kinds of resolutions because we want to feel happier at the end of the next year than we do at the end of the current one, and we think that if we hit those markers, we will.
Adding numbers to a goal makes it seem more real and achievable.
Getting excited and motivated about losing 15 pounds is easier than “leading a healthier life.” Creating a plan to hit 2000 Instagram followers is a much more concrete task than trying to “build a fanbase.”
Don’t get me wrong, I love numbers! They’re the perfect way to analyze the success of a marketing plan, pretty important when it comes to learning music, and a great help when dividing up M&Ms fairly between two “kids”.
The problem with basing resolutions or goals solely on numbers is that even if you reach the goal, you usually don’t feel much happier than before you set it.
You might even feel worse.
If you google “how do people feel after they've reached a goal,” most of the results are not about a victory high but about the depression that comes post-achievement.
Arthur C Brooks explains that if you set lofty goals that can only be reached at great personal cost and think reaching them will make you happy, you’re setting yourself up for a feeling of emptiness even if you manage to reach them.
“Even if you achieve your goal, you are very unlikely to achieve the happiness you’re after. And you just might find yourself less happy than you were before you reached the mountaintop.”
He defines life satisfaction as being found through consistent growth, not big audacious wins.
“Other psychologists have found that in life, not just work, progress consistently beats accomplishment when it comes to well-being. Humans are wired, it seems, for improvement.”
Progress beats accomplishment when it comes to well-being.
Happiness is finding joy in the experience, not reaching a finish line.
When I was younger, I measured every element of life's success in numbers.
Driven by a desire to have/play/earn/be more, I thought happiness would be attained by making more money, having more fans, playing bigger gigs to larger crowds, selling more albums, and winning more prizes. And I focused solely on trying to reach those goals.
But then I accomplished those things and, once the brief glow of triumph had burned out, found myself more unsatisfied and unhappy than before.
If you haven’t ever experienced reaching your own achievement-based goals, it might sound crazy for me to sit here and tell you that’s not what you should be chasing.
But the fact is, reaching a lofty goal at the expense of everything else in your life will not make you happy.
You can still be driven and proactive and make plans to grow as an artist, but you need to ensure you’re not hanging every hope of happiness on the outcome of those plans.
This year, I’m taking an experience-over-destination approach to my resolutions.
My goal is not to play in bigger venues than last year but to choose the musical experiences that are likely to be the most enjoyable.
Rather than trying to measure up to what other musicians are doing, I will compare myself only to my past self and only strive to continue to improve this year.
Instead of enduring a relentless posting schedule to get more random followers online, I will focus on trying to give something valuable to the community I’ve already built. Connecting with other musicians on a deeper level who are genuinely engaged makes me far happier than constantly talking about superficial promo tips to a digital room full of strangers.
Instead of trying to add ten more music coaching clients a month - whether we’re a good fit or not just because that’s what other coaches do - I’m going to focus on having the most meaningful, impactful, and enjoyable experience with the clients I do have - whether it’s ten a month or one a year.
Ultimately, number-based goals make for easy-to-proclaim but largely ineffectual resolutions regarding the quality of your life.
Even when you reach a target-based goal, it always gives way to a new, bigger goal and rarely leads to a sense of permanent satisfaction.
When you finally play to 200 people, you’ll want it to be 300 next time.
Reaching 10,000 followers will quickly feel small, and you’ll want to aim for 20K.
The impact of an experience on your life is harder to calculate than successfully reaching a target but, ultimately, a better gauge of your happiness.
Aiming to release an album might be a good motivator, and you’ll certainly know when you’ve accomplished it, but it won’t make you significantly happier in the long term.
You don’t have to give up your number-based goals. Just don’t forget that the experience on the way to the destination has a much larger effect on the quality of your life than the finish line you reach.
Think of each goal as a lookout on a beautiful walk. It is a nice place to stop and appreciate the view, but it is not the purpose of the journey.
P.S. If one of your “target-based goals” this year includes un-sucking your website or finally setting up an online store, check out my web design programs here.
Agree with all of the above. I think what you’re saying is that relationships are more important than numbers without dismissing the importance of numbers in monitoring career outcomes in terms of marketing. How many followers you have demonstrates to an extent the level of interest in your music but not all. Some people are not interested in social media but find other ways to connect. Interaction with random people via that medium is impossible because the relationships that are there are superficial and probably need to be otherwise you would end up exhausted! Hope all of your hopes are present in 2024.